My goal with revamping my old website to “just a blog” was that I would be able to post new images of work or discuss new things in my life faster than I had been able to before when I had to deal with writing code and other crap for my website. I have not being doing well. I’m not a slacker. Really I’m not, but i have been slacking at adding to my blog. I know, I know, there are a ton of bloggers that say the same thing and you might be one of them, but the truth is… I get busy. This blog is supposed to be about being both a full time artist and a full time stay at home father and if I was still just an artist I would have the time to add shit to this blog daily, “Oh, look at my new drawing. Oh look at my new painting. Look , I painted a face. Oh look at me I painted a pair of my wife’s heels. Oh wow! I just painted a bird.” I don’t want to discount what I do for a living because being able to paint paintings that people purchase is truly a blessing but since becoming a full time parent I’ve learned how tough it can be do get things done. Things as simple as watching your DVR’ed series finale of Breaking Bad.
Me: Inside my own head I say, ” Ok. I’ve invested years into this show let’s see how this beauty ends.”
Daughter: ” I want to climb on him.”
Me: “Hey wait.” ( pauses TV show) ” Go play with your legos. Go play with your tiger. Go play with anything else.” Awesome it worked. She goes to play with her legos.
Daughter: “Houuse, Houuse.” ( She returns minutes later with a stack of Legos bunched together in a shape no one could ever possibly live in).
Me: ” Huh, Whaaa? What? Oh, house. Ok cool. What?” ( Pause’s the show.) “That’s really nice. Which one is your room?” ( Child looks at me unresponsive and I restart my show).
Daughter: ” I want to climb on him”.
Me: “Ugggghhh”. ( In parent speak ‘Ugggghhh’ means “What The Fuck Do You Want Now!”) So I stop my Breaking Bad Series Finale and will start it again later when she’s asleep.
My daughter is only about to turn two so since she’s been in my life I’ve had a ton of opportunities to do the things I wanted. Of course as she gets older it’s getting harder now to get things done. By getting things done I mean painting. Painting takes time. Ok, actually it does, and it doesn’t. I’ve made a pretty good living painting fast. Sometimes doing paintings in 30 mins or less like a Dominos Pizza and selling them. I don’t want to do that right now. I want to spend some real time working on my stuff. My daughter and my “new life” have different ideas. Whether it’s changing diapers, cooking meals, cleaning the house or countless other things, they’re eating up my painting time. I’m trying to work out new painting schedules all the time but like my daughter, they change daily.
Work is work. Whether from home or outside of home. Most people have a job to do in order to earn money to provide for themselves or for their families. My wife goes to work every weekday to earn that buck as do millions of others. I get the pleasure to stay at home to work on my art but now I mostly have the pleasure to stay at home and watch my kid grow from day to day. Sure most of my days I don’t get to paint daily as I once did but I’ve decided that’s a fair trade. For six years I painted daily and watched my sales and reputation grow and it was really great. Now I don’t paint daily and my rep has taken a big hit but the tradeoff is that I get to experience my child’s growth right before my eyes all aware that most parents nowadays don’t get that same chance. I get to play with my daughter all day, take walks and tons of other cool things that a bunch of parents miss out on.
This blog post is not a complaint about not being able to paint as much as I once did in any way, it’s actually the opposite. I’m lucky that I’m here at home watching my kid. There are a ton of parents that wish they could be in my place. My wife being one of them. I can’t imagine doing all the household shit that I have to do while going to a job everyday. I’m not saying I’m even good at any of it. Shit, most of the time the house is a mess and my child never gets out of her pajamas. It’s a juggling act that I try to work on daily, but for those women that go to a job and have to come home to do this without a partner, God bless you. Sure stay at home mom’s (or fathers) work hard too, but single mothers are the shit.
Ok. Here’s my last painting for those that come to see the art.